How Parents Can Work With Educators
 When
my son was very young, we were very fortunate to be
served by a pediatrician at Kaiser Permanente whose
area of specialty was developmental disorders. One
of the best pieces of advice I ever got from him
was, "Don't try to be the teacher. You just be the
parent."
This advice was not easy for me to
follow. As a public school teacher, I wanted to
teach my son, who was eventually diagnosed with
Asperger's Syndrome. However, teaching is a
demanding profession. Working 50-60 hours a week as
a teacher prevented me from having enough time or
energy to be the teacher for my own child. Friends
of mine, also teachers, told me, "You can't teach
your own kid anyway! Your own child does not think
of you as his teacher. He thinks of you as Mom!"
Although I learned that there were many things I
could do to help my son, I could not be his teacher.
Toby's father and I attended parent
conferences, annual IEP meetings, and sometimes
requested extra meetings, especially when Toby was
younger and we had concerns about his school
program. When Toby was in high school, and he had
transitioned to regular education classes, I
sometimes met with individual teachers to see how we
could help him at home so that he could pass his
classes. Over the course of
my son's 15 years in public school - beginning with
special education preschool, and culminating with a
year at a community college - I learned a lot about
working within the system as a parent supporting a
student with special needs.
These are a few suggestions I would share with other
parents like me, who have children with
disabilities:
 1)
When a problem comes up, contact the teacher right
away. Don't wait for things to get worse.
2) If your child doesn't know how to
do his homework, night after night (see #1), let the
teacher know. Find out if the problem is that he is
not paying attention, or that the work is just too
hard for him, and needs to be adjusted. If attention
is the problem, ask the teacher what s/he is doing
to help your child improve his attention span.
3) Read about your child's
disability. Use the library and the Internet to find
out as much as you can. If your child has been
tested by a school psychologist, ask the
psychologist for suggestions about ways to support
your child in coping with his disability.
4) Don't lose your temper when talking to the
teacher or others at the school. Be patient, and ask
questions in order to understand their view of the
situation. 5) If the teacher
and others at the school are not responsive to your
concerns, find out who is the person in charge at
the next level. Keep moving up the ladder of
authority until you find the person who can help
you.
Even though we may not be able to be the teachers
for our own children, education is a joint effort
between ourselves as parents, and the educators. Do
everything you can to support your child, to
maximize the valuable resource of public education.
|
